5 signs you and your partner are ready for polyamory — and 6 you're really not, according to the 'Couple to Throuple' sex therapist

• As polyamory becomes more visible, you may have considered opening up our relationship.
• Sexologist Shamyra Howard coached couples exploring polyamory on 'Couple to Throuple.'
• She told Business Insider some signs that you and your partner are ready to try polyamory, or not.

Polyamory is everywhere right now: from the cover of New York magazine to TV shows including Riverdale. So you may be wondering if you and your partner should give nonmonogamy a go.

Shamyra Howard, a licensed clinical social worker, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and resident "three-lationship" expert on the Peacock show "Couple to Throuple," has seen the highs, lows, and messy beginnings of many nonmonogamous relationships. She works with nonmonogamous couples in her practice and coached the throuples on the show from the very start of their journeys with polyamory.

Howard shared with Business Insider the signs that partners may — or may not — be ready to start exploring polyamory.

5 Signs you're ready to try nonmonogamy

To be ready to try nonmonogamy, Howard said that you and your partner both need to want to try it. The following factors are signs that your relationship might be a good "foundation for your polyamorous exploration," she said.

1) You both want the same things out of opening up your relationship, whether that's adding a third to your relationship, pursuing separate relationships away from each other, or only seeking sex outside the relationship.

2) You feel connected to your partner in your current relationship.

3) There are no open emotional injuries, which Howard defines as any type of betrayal that might have happened in a relationship that has severed the trust or connection between the couple. This could be due to infidelity, financial mistrust, or emotional, verbal, or physical abuse, she said.

4) There are sexual differences that you can't resolve within your relationship, such as sexual interests one partner doesn't share with the other.

5) You both have secure attachment styles, Howard said. Having a secure attachment means you both feel safe and secure in your relationship, you feel comfortable being alone, and your emotions aren't dependent on other people, Christie Kederian, a psychologist and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, previously told BI.

6 signs nonmonogamy isn't for your relationship right now

"Polyamory is not for everyone," Howard said. Here are some signs that you and your partner aren't ready to open your relationship up.

1) You want to repair your connection with your existing partner, or something isn't going well in your relationship, and you think trying polyamory will fix it — it won't, Howard said.

2) There are open emotional injuries — particularly if there has been cheating. "Although some serial cheaters might find polyamory suits their values more than monogamy, polyamory is not the antidote to cheating, so you want to actually address what's causing the cheating before you try opening up your relationship," she said.

3) You get uncomfortable when your partner is closely engaged with someone else, or you see intimacy between your partner and someone else. Howard said that polyamory may not be for you at this time — but you can overcome jealousy by viewing it as a normal emotion that is temporary and doesn't have to dictate your behavior.

4) One partner just wants to have sex with someone else. "People open up their relationships for sex all the time, but if it's not a mutual desire, that's probably not something you should explore at the moment," Howard said.

5) You have an anxious attachment style. Contrary to a secure attachment style, anxious attachment means you might be extremely dependent on a partner, have difficulty trusting them, or have low self-esteem, according to Kederian. However, Howard said attachment styles can change, so just because you might not have the best style for nonmonogamy now doesn't mean you shouldn't consider it again once you've addressed your anxious attachment.

6) One partner feels coerced or forced into trying polyamory. It should be enjoyable and consensual all around, Howard said.