How to Handle a Spouse Who Doesn’t Contribute Financially

Ideally, you should discuss finances with your partner before you move in together or marry. However, even if you do that, you may find that you still find yourself in a situation you hadn’t imagined, such as having a husband or wife who doesn’t contribute financially to the household. While this may be frustrating, you may find, with some deeper digging, there’s a reason why.

How to Handle a Spouse Who Doesn’t Contribute Financially

Consider these questions:

Is She Helping in Other Ways

Having a wife who doesn’t contribute financially can be frustrating! You may think you’re doing all the work to provide for your family and feel she’s doing nothing. But, step back a moment and carefully look at your family dynamic. Is she handling things around the house—cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, paying bills, taking the animals to the vet, mowing the lawn? If she’s doing these things, then she’s contributing to the household and making your life easier so you can focus on work.

Then, ask how often do you do these chores. If the answer is not often, you’ll need to decide if you want to split these chores so she has time to get and keep a job or if you like not being responsible for household chores and focusing on your career instead.

Does He Have the Skills for a Job?

If your partner isn’t working, ask yourself if he has the skills for a job. Does he only have the skills and education for a low-paying, dead-end job? If that’s the case, and if you can afford to do so, consider sending him back to school to gain skills that will allow him to work in a more profitable and fulfilling field.

Does She Have Other Interests?

Finally, consider if she has other interests. Is she a talented artist who works on her art for hours a week? Does she enjoy volunteering and helping in the community? Or does she have an older relative that she helps care for? These are all good reasons why someone can’t or doesn’t want to hold a full-time job.

Seek Counseling

If you’ve asked yourself all of these questions, and you’re still dissatisfied that your spouse does not contribute financially, you may want to seek counseling. A qualified counselor can help you and your significant other process your feelings and emotions around employment and contributing to the household.

Final Thoughts

If you have a husband or wife who doesn’t contribute financially, ask yourself whether you can afford to live on one income and if your partner contributes in other ways. A partner who doesn’t work isn’t necessarily a mooch, especially if they contribute to the household in non-financial ways. If the issue is driving a deep wedge in your relationship, seek counseling so you can both agree on your roles in the relationship.

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