Red Flags: 10 Telltale Signs a Man May Be Using a Woman for Her Money

Being in a healthy relationship helps each partner flourish and grow. Unfortunately, most of us have been in unhealthy relationships from time to time. As such, knowing the signs that a man is using a woman for money, or a partner is struggling with addiction, or is abusive, is essential. The more people know about the telltale signs of these relationships, the faster they can end them and protect themselves physically, emotionally, and financially.

10 Signs a Man Is Using a Woman for Money

If a woman wants to protect herself, both financially and emotionally, from one type of unhealthy relationship—being used for money—she’ll want to be aware of these signs:

1. He Showers Her with Attention

At the beginning of the relationship, this type of man will shower a woman with attention to hook her in. In addition, he will spend lavishly and try to impress her with his “wealth.” She will be in awe at how sweet and attentive he is. Then, when he feels that she is in love, the relationship will begin to change.

2. He Doesn’t Have a Job

This type of man often doesn’t have a job, but his reasoning will usually be because he has been wronged or is underappreciated, not because he has done anything that makes him unemployable. He will always say he’s searching for a job, but he will never find one.

3. He Doesn’t Offer to Pay

When they go out together, he will never offer to pay for their dates. He will expect the woman to pay. However, in the beginning stages of the relationship, when he is trying to hook her, he will pay for everything.

4. He Doesn’t Have Her Meet His Family or Friends

A man who is using a woman for money prefers the relationship to remain in a vacuum. He will not introduce her to family or friends. In addition, no matter how long they date or how serious she thinks the relationship is becoming, he will only see her alone.

5. He Doesn’t Care About Her Family or Friends

In addition, he will take no interest in her family or friends. If he is forced to meet them, he will interact as little as possible.

6. He Doesn’t Talk about His Finances

This type of man will not talk about his finances. If he is bankrupt, she won’t know. “‘It is completely appropriate during the dating phase to inquire about a person’s financial status and goals…’ said Liz Higgins, a relational therapist and founder of Millennial Life Counseling. ‘When this is met with closed-off responses or an unwillingness to dialogue, I would absolutely consider this a red flag’” (HuffPost). If she does discover his financial predicament, he will say, just as he does about employment, that his poor financial status results from someone else. Maybe he went through a divorce, and he’ll say his wife took all the money.

7. He Knows about Her Finances

In contrast, he will ask the woman about her finances and know as many details as possible. After all, he is mining her for money, so he needs to know how much money is available.

8. He Encourages Her to Splurge (Usually with Him)

While he may not spend money on her after the initial dating period, he will encourage her to spend lavishly. He may want to go out to eat and encourage her to buy the most expensive item, and he’ll be right beside her doing the same. “Beware of anyone who tries to guilt you into paying for things or asks to borrow large sums of money. . . ‘Is your date asking for expensive gifts or trips?’ asks financial coach Tatiana Tsoir. ‘If they are, maybe they think you’re loaded, and it’s time to have a conversation!’” (HuffPost).

9. He Gets Mad When She Says “No.”

This type of man likes to get what he thinks he deserves. If she says “no” to some of his spending requests, he will get angry. If he says no too often, he will break up with her and find a new woman who doesn’t say no.

10. He Lies

Finally, a man using a woman for money is not honest. He will lie frequently. If he is caught lying, he will lie to cover up his initial lies. According to the HuffPost, “‘A healthy relationship is built in part on shared values with money touching a lot of those values,’ [psychotherapist Noorhayati] noted. ‘Lying about your finances can and will ultimately strain your relationship and cause you to lose trust in your partner.’ The urge to hide or ignore money problems is understandable, but it’s crucial for partners to be honest about finances. Secrets and lies will only drive you apart and potentially lead to even worse financial issues.”

What to Do When You Recognize the Signs

Knowing the 10 signs a man is using a woman for her money can help her carefully evaluate her relationship. While she may deeply like her boyfriend or love him, if the feeling isn’t reciprocated, it’s time to move on. Remember, if she stays with a man who is treating her unfairly, she’s losing the opportunity to find a man who will love and appreciate her and treat her as she deserves to be treated.

To make way for healthier relationships, she’ll want to evaluate why she stayed in a relationship where she was used, build her own self-confidence, and learn to set healthy boundaries. Marriage.com advises, “Cultivating self-love and enhancing your self-confidence are vital. When you believe in your worth, you’ll be less likely to accept being used as a norm.”

Financial Independence Tips for Women

Recognizing red flags in relationships is only half the battle—true protection comes from building financial independence. In 2025, women are increasingly prioritizing financial literacy and autonomy, with studies showing that 94% of women express readiness to take charge of their finances. Here are actionable steps to help women safeguard their financial future:

1. Create and Stick to a Budget

A thoughtful budget is the cornerstone of financial independence. Track monthly income and expenses, then categorize spending (housing, food, transportation, leisure). Identify areas to cut back and redirect savings toward long-term goals.

2. Build an Emergency Fund

Aim for at least 3–6 months of living expenses in a high-yield savings account. This safety net ensures you won’t have to rely on a partner financially during crises.

3. Maximize Retirement Planning

Contribute to employer-sponsored plans like 401(k)s and IRAs. Automate contributions to ensure consistency. Women often live longer than men, so retirement planning is especially critical.

4. Strengthen Credit and Avoid High-Interest Debt

Monitor your credit score regularly. Pay off credit cards in full each month to avoid costly interest. Good credit provides independence when making big purchases or securing housing.

5. Diversify Income Streams

Explore side hustles, freelance work, or passive income opportunities. In 2025, women are increasingly leveraging online platforms and flexible gigs to boost earnings. Multiple income streams reduce reliance on any one source—including a partner.

6. Set Clear Financial Goals

Define short-term goals (vacations, debt payoff) and long-term goals (homeownership, retirement). Studies show that individuals with a financial plan save 50% more each month.

Look for Signs of Dysfunction Before You Invest

Unfortunately, there are many types of dysfunctional relationships. If a man is using a woman for money, he will likely exhibit some, if not all, of these signs. If you find yourself in this type of relationship, knowing the signs and being confident in ending an unhealthy relationship can help save you heartache.

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