I left a red state for a blue state. The quality of life and job opportunities are better here, but it's not perfect.

• Raneisha Stassin, 31, moved to California from Arkansas in 2017 and has no regrets.
• In Arkansas, it seemed to her like most people got their jobs through friends of friends.
• In California, a diverse network has helped her professionally and her son's needs are supported.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Raneisha Stassin, a 31-year-old freelance public relations communications consultant and podcast host based in California. It's been edited for length and clarity.

Growing up, I was always forced to go to church. In fact, I grew up in Little Rock, Arkansas, a red state surrounded, by very religious people — many Southern Baptist. I found that if you didn’t go to church and if you were queer or a person of color, Arkansas wasn’t the friendliest place.

My mom and all the biological relatives I grew up with were born and raised in Arkansas as well. Many of us, however, were desperate to move out for better job opportunities and to grow our careers. After college, in 2017, I moved to San Francisco.

Having lived in both the Bay Area and now San Diego, where I’ve resided for four years now, I can say California has given me greater job opportunities and a better quality of living than Arkansas.

Job opportunities were very limited in Arkansas

In Arkansas, I've experienced a lot of very rural areas that aren’t welcoming to outsiders. The more populous places, like the capital Little Rock, are seen as a lot more diverse. There are typically better job opportunities there too, but those opportunities were very limited for me.

While in college, I tried applying for local jobs to gain experience and never heard back — I could only get fast-food work. I received my first public relations internship in Arkansas, during my junior year, only because my professor referred me to some friends of his who had a boutique PR communications agency. I found that in Arkansas most jobs would only hire me if someone they knew vouched for me — most people seemed to get their jobs through a friend of a friend. I think the small-town mindset of sticking to who you know had a lot to do with this.

California is more accepting of people with different backgrounds and identities

I attended college in Arkansas, but my closest friends were from Northern California. They were much more accepting and suggested I move there.

I ended up getting a very competitive public relations internship in San Francisco at Ketchum, a global PR firm. Following that internship, I received my first job offer at a small PR tech agency. After learning the ropes of the industry, I was eventually able to start freelancing and choosing my own clients.

California embodies the term “melting pot” more than Arkansas

In San Francisco, people of varying demographics and backgrounds actively engage with one another. In Arkansas, even in Little Rock, it felt more segregated. As a neurodivergent queer Black woman, it was especially awful for me.

People often stuck with those very similar to themselves. For example, even though I lived in Little Rock, I had to be bused to a school in a small town with less diversity because they needed to reach a racial quota. I was called every slur imaginable.

At the time that I moved to San Francisco, I was in an interracial marriage and had a biracial neurodivergent son. California felt much more welcoming to my family.

It's been a great environment for me to raise my son and there are always a ton of art and culture events. There's so much about Black history I hadn’t learned growing up in Arkansas that I only became aware of after moving here.

The opportunities to connect and network with people from all over is another plus that has helped me professionally, allowing me to build my freelance clientele.

Aside from the diversity, the quality of living is significantly better in California

In the Bay Area and San Diego, I really like that I can just pack up and drive 20 minutes to the beach or go to an art show. The amount of entertainment is greater.

I also really love how much more involved Californians are with local politics. Lack of interest in state politics was a huge issue in my home state, leaving people uninformed. I feel most Californians are more educated and aware of politics on a state level and are actively involved in improving circumstances within their communities.

Also, when I moved to California, I found a lot of resources for children with autism. My son has autism and has an individualized education plan here. I've found that the schools are always able to point us to additional community resources like regional centers and YMCAs. There are also resources for mental health support, neurodivergent folks, queer folks, and women of color.

I'm sure Arkansas also has these resources, but I love how much more accessible they are where I currently live. In Arkansas, many resources were concentrated in Little Rock. When I lived outside Little Rock, I remember driving over 40 miles to go to the doctor because the better doctors for my health conditions were based there.

California's cities are difficult to navigate and expensive to live in

When I separated from my son’s father he had joined the Navy and wanted to co-parent despite being stationed in San Diego. It worked out, though, because moving to San Diego proved more cost-effective than the Bay Area.

I was living in a one-bedroom apartment with my son for $3,100 before moving to San Diego, and I still had an hour’s commute to work. Many of the major cities in California are commuter cities and it’s difficult to navigate for someone like me coming from a rural state that typically had one main road. I still need a GPS to get around.

Driving in this state is the second biggest con after the high costs.

Many people love living in Arkansas and that’s OK

I chose what was right for me and my family, and I encourage others to do what’s right for them. I know I would’ve regretted it had I stayed in Arkansas and tried to assimilate into a lifestyle and culture that wasn’t right for me. Just because you grow up somewhere doesn’t make it home.

After I left, I noticed things were improving slowly in Arkansas as more people from different states started to settle there, particularly in college towns. Yet, it’s still a very rural and conservative state, and I was quite used to being “othered” growing up there.

Want to share your relocation story? Email Manseen Logan at [email protected].