My work wife and I had an emotional affair. Our friendship was so close and flirty that it upset our romantic partners.

• I started playfully bickering and flirting with my work wife.
• Eventually, we were texting each other late at night, having deep, emotional conversations.
• My partner said she was suspicious of the relationship, and it put a wedge between us.

My Instagram account had pinged again with another message from my friend at work. It was nearly midnight, and she was telling me about the latest developments in her relationship.

For months, she and I bickered, supported each other, and vented about work as well as nonwork issues. We were what many would refer to as "work spouses."

At least, our dynamic started out as "work spouses" — that annoying label often prescribed to close yet platonic relationships between coworkers to describe that friendly dynamic. And that's what my colleague and I were: friends.

For much of our friendship, we helped each other with work-related tasks, sent each other GIFs on Zoom, and opened up about our personal lives. But it was the usual social chitchat between colleagues: weekend plans, Netflix recommendations, and the fact that her parents lived near mine.

However, after nearly six months, something changed. I don't know exactly what it was. Maybe I felt connected to her. Maybe the whole idea of the "work spouse" was some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, when you label a colleague as some sort of "spouse," that's what they become.

Either way, what started as a platonic friendship with a colleague started to turn into something deeper.

Everything changed when we started talking nonstop

She and I took our conversations off our workplace Zoom accounts and migrated to Instagram. That's when our dynamic started to change.

For starters, we began having late-night conversations and talking about deeper, more personal topics, such as our romantic relationships — hence the 12 a.m. message I received from her one night about her significant other.

I sensed our dynamic evolving, and I think she did as well. What started as a platonic connection between two colleagues became intimate flirtation. We were undeterred by the fact that we both had partners.

Our emotional Instagram conversations turned nightly, and our chats became filled with open flirtations and playful teasing.

I eventually switched jobs for unrelated reasons, so my work wife and I no longer worked together. That didn't stop us from maintaining the same level of contact.

I didn't try to conceal the intimate repartee with my work wife from my significant other

My partner knew about my work spouse. At first, my partner didn't mind the playful flirting; she thought it was natural to be attracted to someone else and had her fair share of casual flirtations.

But as my former work wife and I texted more frequently, my partner became concerned at the seemingly emotional connection that was also in play. Basically, she thought — and maybe was right — that my flirting with my former work spouse was becoming a little more than casual.

My partner started to doubt my feelings for her, thinking that I preferred to hop into a relationship with my old coworker.

We all decided to go on a double date

This pseudo love triangle — rather, the love rectangle, as I can't forget about my former work wife's partner — reached a climax when the four of us went on a double date. It was an ill-advised attempt to show my significant other that my old coworker and I were just friends.

In hindsight, I think maybe I was trying to convince myself of that.

The double date didn't go so well. My former work wife and I playfully bickered during the outing. This prompted our significant others to roll their eyes at each other.

Eventually, my partner irritatingly voiced her concern about the overwhelming amount of time we were texting each other late at night. The eyes of my former work wife's partner widened — as if he was hearing this for the first time.

As soon as we got home, my partner turned to me.

"I really didn't like her," she unapologetically said.

It was expected, as she thought my former work wife was attempting to take her place. I certainly didn't help the situation by flirting back.

After the outing, my former work wife and I texted a few more times, but eventually, our contact dissipated. It had finally dawned on me that I crossed the line.

Over the following months, my partner forgave me, and we worked to move past my transgression. But she still likes to occasionally bring up my former work spouse as a reminder of how I crossed the line with a coworker.

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