7 vital mindset hacks for real estate agents

I’ve coached and trained thousands of real estate agents over the years, and every single one of them has struggled with mindset at some point in their careers. It’s easy to have a positive attitude when you’re closing deal after deal, but staying positive when you haven’t closed a deal in a month is definitely difficult. Yet getting back into a positive mindset quickly is key to longevity in real estate. Everything starts with mindset, every success and every failure.

The good news? Managing your mindset is 100% within your control. Once you master how to control your own mindset, nothing can get in your way. Check out our best hacks for improving your mindset as a real estate agent.

1. Be intentionally learning-based

At the start of any agent’s career, there’s a lot of learning involved. You’re drinking from a firehose. But as the years go on, it can be tempting to neglect new ideas and get stuck in the mindset of “I already know everything.” This fixed mindset is not only unproductive, but it can also be dangerous.

In the past year, we’ve seen major changes in the industry. We have new forms, new procedures and new ways of doing business, and we must explain these changes to our clients in a way that makes sense to them. The agents who refuse to attend a class at their office or on Zoom to discuss these changes are doing a disservice to their clients and opening themselves up to potential lawsuits. I know because I see it all the time.

How to hack being intentionally learning-based

Make a point to be intentionally learning-based for your entire career. This will keep your skills sharp, keep you out of real estate jail and keep your mindset open and focused. Exercising the brain is important, just like exercising the body. How do you make a point to keep learning?

• Attend (or teach) classes in your office/your local board
• Listen to real estate and leadership podcasts
• Host webinars for home buyers or sellers (teaching others helps you learn, too)
• Mastermind with other agents
• Read or listen to audiobooks
• Attend real estate conferences
• Seek a mentor or coach (even the most experienced agents have one, sometimes two!)
• Network with like-minded people

Related articles

12 best real estate podcasts for agents & brokers in 2025

The 25 best books for real estate agents in 2025

12 real estate events & conferences to help you thrive in 2025

2. Create your own definition of success

Ask most agents how they’d define success, and most will give you a dollar figure or a number of homes sold. Is that really the definition of success, though? Go one step further. What will that dollar figure do for you? How will it affect your life, in a real, tangible way?

One of the best mindset hacks is letting go of society’s definition of success and confidently giving success your own meaning. For some, it’s the financial freedom to travel the world without needing to worry about a paycheck. For others, it’s to set up college funds for their kids. For others, it is beautiful homes, cars and yachts. For me, it’s the freedom to do what I want when I want with whomever I want, plain and simple.

How to hack creating your definition of success

Defining success for yourself and your family and then owning that definition, regardless of what others say or think, is one of the biggest keys to a positive mindset. It allows you to focus on your own goals without all the noise of society’s input.

Here are some ways to come up with your own definition of success:

• Prioritize your core values – what’s most important to you, above all else, in your world?
• Discuss success with your spouse or partner and family to make sure you’re on the same page
• Spend time thinking and journaling about what you want your life to look like
• Consider your legacy – how do you want people to remember you when you’re gone?

3. What you focus on expands

You’ve likely heard this phrase. I first heard it in a Keller Williams training course called BOLD, back in 2013, and it’s still true today. One simple way to manage your mindset is to control what you’re focusing on versus dwelling on. The more positive and productive your mind is, the better.

Start paying attention to this as you go throughout your day. Do you find yourself spending time complaining about the market with other agents in your office? Are you doomscrolling before bed? When there’s a problem that comes up in a transaction, is your reaction more emotional or more practical – “it’s the end of the world” or “let’s find a solution”? These differences make a huge impact on your mindset.

How to hack focusing on what expands

While it is easy to dwell on the negative, instead, turn the negative into a solution that will result in a positive outcome. Here are some ways to do that:

• Listen to motivational podcasts
• Be sure your calendar matches your goals and schedule your most important activities to make sure they get done
• Avoid distractions and limit any negative conversations at the office
• Limit any outside influence that causes you stress
• Start and end your day with gratitude. For example, each morning, I write on a post-it note one good thing from the day before

4. Surround yourself with the right people

If everyone around you has a positive and productive mindset, chances are you will, too. We become the net of the people closest to us, so make sure you’re choosing to surround yourself with the right people for the kind of life you desire.

This may sound a little harsh, but think about it: if your best friend is constantly focused on problems, you’re more likely to also focus on the problems that arise. But if that person were more solution-oriented, you would be, as well.

How to hack surrounding yourself with the right people

Find accountability partners, mentors or colleagues who have the kind of mindset you desire and start spending more time with them. Your mindset will naturally improve. Here are our hacks to finding the right people and working with them:

• Start within your office. Maybe there’s another agent who started in the business around the same time you did and would like to be an accountability partner with you. Or ask a more experienced agent if they’d like to mentor you.
• Explore groups within your brokerage. Most large franchises have groups within them, such as a Young Professionals group. Tap into these smaller groups to connect with like-minded individuals.
• Get involved in your local board of REALTORS. This is a great resource for connecting with other local agents who are service-minded.
• Make friends! You’ll naturally be drawn to certain people who you click with. Form real friendships over time with agents who are motivated and positive.

5. Take responsibility

There’s something very freeing about owning your mistakes, your decisions and your life. We all know that one person who blames everyone else for their problems – it’s exhausting! Be the person who takes responsibility for every aspect of their life and their real estate business, both the good and the bad. This will improve your mindset by putting you in control of your future.

Setting boundaries with your clients is another facet of taking responsibility. Have you ever complained about a client texting you too late at night? Did you text them back at that hour? Then you’re taking responsibility for your boundaries. Own your boundaries and your mindset will get better, as you won’t feel resentful towards your clients. And yes, it’s totally ok to text back in the morning!

How to hack taking responsibility

Saying sorry or admitting that you’re wrong is difficult for even the most self-aware person. Here are some things to try:

• Practice owning your mistakes, even if they’re small or not 100% your fault
• Be quick to apologize, rather than getting defensive or making excuses
• Set concrete boundaries with your clients regarding your working hours and stick to them (don’t text back at 2 am)
• Don’t forget to take responsibility for the good things you do, too!

6. Embrace the challenges of growth

Growth is uncomfortable, and it’s usually painful. It comes through failure, stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new things before you feel ready. Yet approaching new things with the mindset of growth through discomfort will help you try more new things and grow even faster. A lot of this is really about managing your own expectations. Go into a new thing expecting to be terrible at first, but know that you’ll get better the more you practice.

A great example is the listing appointment. This is an extremely important and also nerve-wracking part of being a real estate agent. New agents want to feel totally prepared for their first appointments, but the reality is that nothing will prepare an agent for a listing appointment like going on more listing appointments. That’s ok, have the mindset of growth through learning and failure, and you’ll be able to go on more appointments and hone your skills (and yes, practice and role play are also super helpful here).

How to hack embracing the challenges of growth

Fuel your growth by jumping right into each challenge with an open mind. Failure is an option, but it’s also a learning experience. Embrace these challenges to make growth a bit easier:

• Shadowing other agents in your office
• Watching YouTube videos on different real estate topics
• Practice going on listing and buyer appointments with your accountability partner, mentor or coach
• Say YES even before you feel ready (yes to the appointment, to a call with a referral lead and/or to a networking event)

7. Give and serve without expectation

This one is easier said than done. Giving and serving others without any expectation of a return isn’t the norm in our culture. Yet it’s a critical mindset hack in real estate. Much of what we do is unpaid work. For example, showing homes to buyers every weekend for a year, only to have them renew their lease when they can’t find the perfect home.

It comes down to trust. Trust that your good work will come back to you somehow. It may not be how you expect it, but it will happen if you lead with great service and a giving spirit. Those buyers who renewed their lease may have parents who are ready to downsize, and they give you the referral because you were supportive and professional. All those weekends you spent looking at homes made you an expert on the local inventory, so when someone at a networking event asks you about a particular neighborhood, you can speak to it with confidence.

How to hack giving and serving without expectation

We are all in business to earn money, of course. And having a giving and serving mindset will actually lead you to greater opportunities in the long run.

• Volunteer in your community or in your office
• Participate (or even host) community events
• Teach free in-person seminars or online webinars for first-time buyers, downsizers, house-hackers or move-up buyers.
• Help newer agents in your office when they have a question
• Always be gracious and professional, even when things don’t go your way

The full picture

The right mindset is the foundation for a successful and fulfilling real estate career. With these mindset hacks, you’re on your way to improving your mindset for the future. Who knows? Your improved mindset may help those around you, as well!

About Ashley Harwood

Ashley Harwood began her real estate career in 2013 and built a six-figure business as a solo agent before launching Move Over Extroverts in 2018. She developed training materials, classes, and coaching programs for her fellow introverts. Beginning in 2020, Ashley served as Director of Agent Growth for three Keller Williams offices in the Boston metro area. She’s now the Lead Listing agent for the Fleet Homes team in Massachusetts and a regular contributor to Vetted by HousingWire. She created The Quiet Success curriculum and has taught thousands of real estate agents nationwide. She has also been a guest speaker at top industry events and has been named a leading real estate coach by prominent industry publications.

• YouTube
• Instagram
• Facebook