I Flushed Every Toilet and Turned on Every Faucet in New York So You Don’t Have To

Of all the reveals on the home renovation shows I love and adore, none is as exciting or as transformative as the kitchen or bathroom. My reward for watching a solid 45 minutes’ worth of bad banter and demolition porn is the grand reveal: a spanking new kitchen, kitted out with a shiny marble island or a bathroom the size of some studio apartments, with a free-standing tub tucked away under a window, and a fresh-out-the-box toilet, virgin porcelain, untouched by human butts.

As the hosts of these programs say time and time again, the kitchen and the bathroom are the two most expensive rooms of the house to renovate, and if years of watching HGTV have taught me anything, it’s that they’re also the spaces in a house where the most decisions are made. From backsplash to countertops to ranges, faucets, and vanity lighting, the mind reels at the vast amount of choice. There’s truly something for everyone at every possible price point, and figuring out what actually works for you is a personal journey. But because this is my job and also a personal passion, I spent three days running around New York from showroom to showroom, as if I were outfitting my own home renovation, to sniff out the best, worst, and the "I guess!" of today’s bathroom and kitchen finishes and appliances.