Apple Intelligence is coming at WWDC. Just don’t call it AI

Once again, the clock on the wall is telling the Macalope it’s June, and that means WWDC is almost here again!

You know, the Macalope really needs to take that clock in. It’s just a regular analog clock, it should not be whispering event dates, secrets and veiled threats to the Macalope. He thinks it might be possessed.

To be honest, expectations for WWDC this year seem pretty low. Jason Snell just wants Apple to get real and show some practical features for users, AI-based or not. Filipe Esposito doesn’t think Apple’s going to announce any new hardware. Of course, developers will probably walk away with some neat new tools that help them make apps, but what about the rest of us?

If WWDC often isn’t the place for Apple to announce new products, it is the place for it to announce new platforms and services developers can take advantage of. This could put the spotlight on Apple’s expected push in home automation. But while Tim Cook may insist great progress is being made on enhanced Siri, it’s not expected to arrive until later this year, which put a host of products in limbo.

Which, come to think of it, is where the Macalope bought that clock.

Oh, it’s possessed, alright.

The company’s long-rumored “HomePad” home command-center device has been sitting around reading magazines for months, just waiting for its chance to take the stage. Apple could pull a Vision Pro with this device by unveiling it and whatever affordances it offers developers, then shipping it later in the year once it’s able to get conversational Siri to be able to have something one could vaguely call a conversation. If you have a teenager in the house, you know what the Macalope means: grunt a couple of things in acknowledgement, grudgingly turn the lights on, or looking something up before stomping off to their room and slamming the door. That kind of conversational level.

But at the risk of sounding like a broken record, Apple should be careful with the AI word. As the Macalope said last week, Apple would be well served to smell the zeitgeist (it smells like flop sweat and gasoline!) and not shove “AI” into every other sentence as Google did at I/O. In the last seven days, public opinion of AI has not appeared to have gotten any better.

“US students on why they booed their pro-AI graduation speakers: ‘They’re not reading the room’”

“Harvard Graduation Speaker Unloads on AI in Profanity-Loaded Tirade, Prompting Cheers From Students: ‘I’m Here to Tell You the Mission of Your Generation Is to Destroy AI’”

Doctors are reportedly booing it and now it’s even making developers mad. On Monday, Microsoft switched Github Copilot billing from a flat fee per month to token-based billing, causing fees to jump drastically.

Yes, after blithely turning support for Facebook and Instagram over to its AI back in March, a number of accounts have been hijacked out from under their users.

Hackers say that they used Meta’s AI support chatbot to break into a host of high-profile Instagram profiles by asking the support bot to change the email address associated with the target account.

The cherry on top of this turd sundae?

Users who have had their accounts stolen say that there is no way to escalate their problem to a human.

An entire culinary school of chefs kissing. (Presumably kissing the tips of their fingers, not each other, but the Macalope doesn’t judge.)

Who is WWDC for? Well, first and foremost it should be for developers. It’s right in the name, even when you squeeze the two Ws together like Apple does. Second, it should be for customers, those of us who use the platforms and features Apple announces at WWDC. While developers want AI to help them do their jobs, customers do not really care for it. That can make messaging at a developers conference tricky.

Added to that combination, there’s a third group that apparently wants to hear AI all the time: investors. Apple should absolutely not try to appease this group when crafting its WWDC message. First of all, they’re an over-indulged group to begin with. But second, their interests seem oddly counter to what Apple’s customers actually want.

The Macalope doesn’t expect any college graduation-style booing at WWDC, but if the message leans too far in promoting AI technology rather than promoting what practical features Apple is delivering, the booing might come after.