Apple is doomed because John Ternus isn’t Elon Musk

It is more than a week since Apple announced that Tim Cook would be transitioning to the role of Executive Chairman and John Ternus would be taking over as CEO, so if you think the Macalope has a “Ternus”-based pun to start this week’s column that hasn’t already been used, well, sorry, that well has been tapped bone dry.

As a mythical beast who has had to endure years of Apple doomerism, it is interesting how decidedly calm everyone is about this impending transition. Sure, a few have said Ternus will have to hit the ground running on AI to overcome a perceived failure on Tim Cook’s part to dump billions into it, but for the most part, everyone has been remarkably chill, which has never been a word the Macalope would use to describe our esteemed corps of technology pundits. We are, therefore, left with only one logical conclusion: they have all been replaced by unfeeling, silicon-based lifeforms from the 8th dimension.

Which… eh, okay.

Even the concern over AI seems pretty unwarranted to the Macalope, though. Why? Here’s why: “OpenAI could be making a phone with AI agents replacing apps.”

First of all, good luck with that. It should go about as well as other new phones that have been announced in recent years. Second, the reason OpenAI is taking this move is that it has to: AI is a service that needs to be delivered on a platform, and if you don’t own the platform, someone else is your gatekeeper. They will try pins, they will try glasses, they will try phones, they will try whatever hardware they can think of, but at the end of the day, they have to beat the iPhone.

Which is why the Macalope says good luck.

But there are a few reasons there has been no rending of garments over this changing of the guard. Probably the biggest one is that Tim Cook isn’t leaving the company. If Ternus needs to ask him a question like “How do I get Eddy Cue to dial it back a bit?”, he can just walk into his office.

Apple also did an excellent job greasing the skids on this transition. Of course, Tim Cook has reached an age where it’s natural to wonder if he’d consider stepping down, but it’s not just because of that that we’ve been talking about this eventuality and John Ternus as his likely replacement for more than a year now. We can argue over who got it wrong and who got it right in terms of reporting this impending change, but the one who really got it right was Apple, which leaked just enough, got Ternus in front of the press just enough, and delivered the news at just the right time.

Finally, it cannot be stressed enough how important it is that Ternus is coming from inside Apple and from a product development discipline, no less. While the Macalope has been extremely critical of some of Cook’s decisions in the last, oh, 16 months or so (totally random timespan not at all linked to any national events), he is by and large a really tough act to follow. The fantastic growth Apple has experienced over the last 15 years, thanks to the ability to follow up on the single biggest consumer product in the history of capitalism–the iPhone–is no mean feat.

(You have to caveat it with “in the history of capitalism” because fire was just slightly more popular on a percentage basis.)

The one knock people have had on Cook over the years? “He’s not a product guy.” Ternus is. That knock was nonsense, of course, and it reached its fever peak when it was made into weapons-grade nonsense with one suggestion in particular. Please swallow any liquids in your mouth before you read the following suggestion, made back in 2017:

“Why Apple Should Buy Tesla and Make Elon Musk CEO”

Can? You? Even? Effing? Imagine?

The Macalope has revisited this piece several times in the intervening years as Musk’s… [audible gulp]… unique personality… was put more and more on display and found to be severely lacking, and each time he reads the title, it makes certain parts of him clench ever tighter. Of course, no one was taking this seriously then, even the author. It was just another way to lob cheap shots at Tim Cook.

Ternus is starting with a company still largely at the top of its game (government relations and macOS Tahoe notwithstanding) and a tremendous amount of goodwill. One could worry that there’s nowhere to go but down, but the Macalope is excited to see what results from this remarkable… Ternus events.

Somebody probably already used that.