Bosses are trying to get their employees engaged by hosting events like 'drag bingo,' but many Gen Z and millennial workers just want to be left alone

• Offices are putting on everything from '90s-themed nights to drag bingo to get employees engaged.
• Some Gen Z and millennial employees told Insider these efforts were out of touch.
• Bosses need to ask employees what they want out of work — which may mean fewer happy hours.

Earlier this summer, Emma received a calendar invite for a Monday afternoon. Given it was for the middle of the day, she expected it to read something like "team meeting" or "one-on-one chat."

Instead, it read "drag bingo."

Emma, a millennial who works for a media company, said seeing the event pop up on her calendar made her eyes roll. Since her company was busy and short-staffed, Emma couldn't believe she was being asked to give up an hour of her already-packed day for the kind of event typically reserved for a weekend with friends.

"I was like, well, I don't want to go to drag bingo with my coworkers on the computer," Emma said. "That sounds remarkably not fun, especially in the middle of the day. I'm not a child."

A few minutes before the event, after just a handful of employees responded yes to the invite, the company canceled it.

Insider verified the identity and employment status of Emma, who asked to remain anonymous and use a pseudonym for fear of retribution at her workplace.

Emma acknowledged her bosses were trying to encourage a more friendly, less stressful team atmosphere, though she feels her bosses aren't addressing the core reasons behind her coworkers' stress. And considering many people she works with are part of the LGBTQ+ community, the gesture also seemed corny and out of touch, she said.

Recently, bosses have been trying to get employees back into the office and increase engagement, whether it's through free breakfasts, happy hours, or ax-throwing nights.

While managers have planned initiatives that aim to appeal to everyone from fresh-out-of-college hires to 30-year company veterans, some Gen Z and millennial employees told Insider that such gestures aren't helping and instead feel out of touch. In fact, they said most employees at their companies don't even want to go but feel they must to appease their bosses.

It's a fine line for managers to walk, though. Emma and Mephy, a Gen Zer who asked for partial anonymity for fear of retribution at his workplace, said mandatory "fun" events during or after the workday aren't helping younger employees feel more connected with their companies.

"We need to get to know Gen Z better so we can help them be more successful," Tim Cozier, a managing director at the talent-solutions company Vaco, told Insider.

Appreciating the effort but falling short

Emma, whose company is remote and mainly employs workers evenly distributed between Gen Z, millennials, and Gen X, said company restructuring meant her bosses were looking for ways to make staff more engaged. However, she said when her bosses were planning interactive activities, they didn't take into account how busy their employees were — and how many didn't want to blend their work and personal lives.

As her bosses added events to their employees' calendars to improve work-life balance, Emma said a lot of it felt like "lip service" and represented a cultural divide between younger and older generations.

Her bosses tried multiple times to encourage staff to plan meetup events, though they never panned out. The office also started a voluntary club that planned cultural outings for staff nearby, though only a few new hires joined.

"To have a good work culture, you need to make space for bridging those generational divides as much as racial divides and gender divides," Emma said. "Otherwise, you're just reproducing the same systems, the same hierarchies, the same resentment."

While not every office is hosting drag bingo, even simple gestures like a Friday team lunch could rub employees the wrong way.

Mephy, who works at a consulting firm, said his boss hosts a "Happy Friday lunch" every week that most employees dislike. During the meeting, employees share their success stories of the week, followed by a group Q&A session, though he said many employees are reluctant to participate. These supposedly relaxing lunches have become stressful, unpaid lectures to keep staff on their toes, Mephy told Insider.

"The lunch is more like a university lecture nobody likes to listen to," Mephy said.

While he appreciates his boss trying to bring everyone together and strengthen their bond in the workplace, he said there are more impactful ways to do that.

"I believe that if we just sat in that room and started talking to each other, we'd be much more comfortable with each other's presence, communication in the workplace would improve, and everyone's Friday afternoon would be more enjoyable," Mephy said.

How bosses can do fun events right

Bosses are more stressed than their staff, thanks to factors like budget cuts and restructuring, a recent Gallup survey found. With workers split on whether in-person, hybrid, or fully remote employment works for them, managers have to handle varying preferences while maintaining team cohesivity.

To keep teams tight-knit as engagement levels are near pandemic lows, bosses have launched more initiatives and programming to make staff feel more at home.

Getting input from workers rather than imposing top-down events based on a boss' idea of fun can lead to more success, said Kelly Maxwell, another managing director at Vaco. She said bosses have been successful when there are frequent check-ins between bosses and employees to discuss shared goals surrounding team building.

Team-bonding activities work when companies say, "We really want to have team building so everyone knows each other, but what would be some good ideas that can maybe be voted on as a group," Maxwell told Insider.

Because Gen Z workers tend to make career moves more frequently than their predecessors, bosses are adjusting their management styles, Maxwell said. This may be causing some bosses to be more cautious but approachable, as workers are more willing to quit for better opportunities that fit their needs.

"I've noticed that Gen Z wants even a higher level of connection than what I've seen previously as far as personally being able to connect, share their opinions," Maxwell said. She's noticed some bosses have "planned a party and then didn't ask anyone if they were into that kind of thing, so that's where I've seen it fall short," she added.

Perhaps this means avoiding the '90s-themed night or wellness meetings named for Gen Z slang and instead going for something staff actually want — which may mean being able to log off at 5 p.m. and not thinking about work.

Have you felt your bosses were trying too hard to make you feel comfortable or welcomed at the office? What's your ideal workplace bonding activity? Reach out to this reporter at [email protected].